The only thing in the whole wide world that matches the size of Barack Obama’s ego is the size of his ears.

July 24th, 2009 | Obama '09
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Yesterday, Mr. and Mrs. Chip Head proposed a new federal health care program appropriately named Simple Health Insurance Trust. SHIT would cover every American except those in Congress, the White House, and the federal bureaucracy.

Untold numbers of people wanted to know what Mr. and Mrs. Head planned for those government employees not covered by SHIT. Their health care program would be Benefits for Active and Retired Feds. BARF would come out of legislation for all those public servants that are so poorly compensated for their 40 hours a week.

July 10th, 2009 | Big Brother, Head Note, The Reign
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Recently Mr. Chip Head came into the possession of a Coexist bumper sticker. At first he did not understand the concept of coexisting when there were so many evil and bad people in the world. 9/11 and Rahm Emanuel are just two such examples. A few weeks later he read the following story and finally figured out the meaning of Coexist:

A U.S. Marine squad was marching north of Fallujah when they came upon an Iraqi terrorist, badly injured and unconscious. On the opposite side of the road was an American Marine in a similar but less serious state. The Marine was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both men, the squad leader asked the injured Marine what had happened.

The Marine reported, “I was heavily armed and moving north along the highway
here, and coming south was a heavily armed insurgent. We saw each other and both took cover in the ditches along the road. I yelled to him that Saddam Hussein was a miserable, lowlife scum bag who got what he deserved, and he yelled back that Ted Kennedy is a fat, good-for-nothing, left wing liberal drunk who doesn’t know how to drive.

“So I shouted that Osama bin Ladin dresses and acts like a frigid, mean-spirited lesbian! He retaliated by yelling that also goes for Hillary Clinton! And there we were, in the middle of the road, shaking hands, when a truck hit us.”

July 10th, 2009 | Good Bad Ugly
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Mr. and Mrs. Chip Head are making an open proposal to all federal lawmakers concerning the health care crisis. (Everything in President Obama’s life is a crisis. The man needs to take up yoga, for crying out loud!)

Our proposal is an enlargement and simplification of the current Health Savings Accounts (HSA), with some off-the-shelf technology thrown in for good measure. We believe an appropriate name would be Simple Health Insurance Trust. SHIT will cover every living American except those in Congress, the White House, and the federal bureaucracy.

July 9th, 2009 | Big Brother, Head Note, The Reign
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As long as The Cool One has celebrities passing away right and left (Jocko, Farah, Ed, etc.) we can just keep on going merrily along…la la la.

(Reported today the U.S. unemployment rate reaches 9.5%, a 26 year high. President Obama’s plan to deal with it was to blame it on Bush.)

July 2nd, 2009 | Obama '09, The Reign
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