Ends in a Vowel

The Presidential Campaign of John McCain. Saga Number 3.

Some Republican types, or maybe anti-Democrats, have been frustrated with the McCain campaign for not being more aggressive in its tactics. There are some rumors as to what the high-level campaign officials have up their sleeves, since they surely are not trying to lose on purpose.

One theory is the last-72-hours-of-the-campaign-push. Another is the Bradley effect will put them over the top. But the reason the McCain campaign is coasting to the finish line is the nobody-has-ever-been-elected-with-a-last-name-ending-in-a-vowel strategy.

Monroe, Fillmore, Pierce, and Coolidge all end in silent vowels, making them rather WASPish. Dukakis may be the most ethnic (unWASPish) name to make it to the general campaign, but it does not end with an ethnic sounding vowel.

Left Hand Doesn’t Know What the Right Hand Is Doing

The Presidential Campaign of John McCain. Saga Number 2.

Friday morning, the day after Governor Palin did herself proud (no slight to Ms. Obama), she was asked about the McCain campaign (which she is supposedly a high ranking member) pulling out of Michigan. She responded in typical Palin style, “I read that this morning also, I fired off a quick e-mail and said, ‘Oh, come on! You know, do we have to? Do we have to call it there?’ Todd and I, we’d be happy to get to Michigan and walk through those plants of the car manufacturers. We’d be so happy to get to speak with the people there in Michigan who are hurtin’ because the economy is hurtin’. Whatever we can do, and whatever Todd and I can do in realizing what their challenges in that state are, as we can relate to them and connect with them and promise them that we won’t let ‘em down in the administration. I want to get back to Michigan and I want to try!”

Just an Idea

The Presidential Campaign of John McCain. Saga Number 1.

Wouldn’t be nice if Senator McCain responded to questions about Senator Obama as follows?

“When Mr. Obama first joined us in the Senate three years ago I thought he was clean and articulate. Once I saw his capabilities it occurred to me with a few terms in the Senate and a few terms as Governor of Illinois or Mayor of Chicago he would make a fine candidate for President.”